A day I'll never forget

My doctor called a few days after my last sono and wanted me to have another sonogram done at approximately eight weeks. My mom came and stayed with Ian this time so we could concentrate on seeing our new little bean. We were very excited that we were getting to see our baby again.

Everything started out fine and seemed normal, but the sonographer seemed to be searching for something and was very quiet. After quite a while I finally asked if everything was going ok. She asked why my sonogram was being repeated. Had they been able to find a heartbeat during my last sono? A heartbeat, well of course! She finally admitted she was having trouble finding a heartbeat today. She decided to go pull the records from my last sonogram to review them. My husband and I were left in the room for what felt like days and were becoming very aware that something was not right. When she returned she said she would get her boss and possibly he could take a look and see if she was just missing it. She said it happens sometimes and was not necessarily anything to be worried about. She left again and this time came back with the Radiologist who informed us that the "pregnancy was no longer viable." WHAT? But I feel pregnant. I've been throwing up for weeks. I'm exhausted. My breasts hurt. How did this happen? When did this happen? Everything was fine two weeks ago. This can't be happening! Nooooooooooo!